have you got a cold or are you just unenthused to see me?
So if you've readabout my insomnia then I guess you're ready to hear about my cold tendency.
no of course i am a wonderfully warm person... i just sneeze alot... and oh i blow my nose. doesnt sound too attractive i know but get over it, there's more to life than mucus.
sometimes its allergies but today it just crept up on me. this morning i left the house speaking and breathing like a normal person. this evening i sound like my nose ring has mutated and blocked up both my nostrils, i have a nose that is running for england and i am to tissues what pigpen is to dust and dirt.
by the way i pronounce it tiss-you not tishew. blame my oldest friend's mother who together with her daughter decided to continue where apparantly my mother had left off or given up and teach me how to be a refined young lady at the age of 6. dont think it worked but atleast now i know that horses sweat, men perspire and ladies glow. (i think i may be developing a fever cos now in addition to snorting i am glowing something rotten)
i remember when i first got hayfever at the age of 9. it was so much more exotic than my runny nose that had basically lasted my entire (then) short lifetime. i had secret ambitions that i might become a world record holder after roy castle (z"l) played his trumpet really loudly on record breakers for this girl who couldnt stop sneezing. i never checked it with the judges but between 13 march 1981 and 13 march 1982 i sneezed 4334 times. ... now that's dedication.
over a decade of high addiction to triludan hayfever medication meant that i was of course delighted and tribulated to hear that for all intents and purposes my drug of choice had been discontinued in the uk although i'm not too sure whether it was for bona fide health reasons or the health of her majesty's health service's coffers. this and the desire to reconnect with nature and live in denial led me to going pretty much cold turkey. as the lord continues to bles the air of jerusalem it seems to have worked although occasionally an emergency cat situation gives the turkey a run for its money.
so thats basically it, although in case we ever meet up i must confess to being a heavy breather. and i cant promise to confine it to phone calls when you need excitement - it's a 24 hour thing. not too obvious otherwise i'd really be a recluse but just enough so that i'm quickly detected if i fall asleep in the cinema and can regale such embarassing situations as my first driving test. stopping at a traffic lights the tester asked me if i wanted to open the window. it was april in england (i.e. still freezing temperatures) so the answer was really no but as i'd just executed a very dodgy three point turn i didnt want to argue. i rolled down the window but could see he was still staring at me. after a while i realized what was going on and said "oh no, i always breathe like this" at which point the bastard told me to close the window and then went on to fail me on three different technicalities. what a bogeyman!
thats about it....... watch out for my next installment -- career asthma for beginners or an asthmatic with bronchitis' guide to amusing friends through hilarous impressions of their cars not starting.
my name's LG -- gezundheit!
no of course i am a wonderfully warm person... i just sneeze alot... and oh i blow my nose. doesnt sound too attractive i know but get over it, there's more to life than mucus.
sometimes its allergies but today it just crept up on me. this morning i left the house speaking and breathing like a normal person. this evening i sound like my nose ring has mutated and blocked up both my nostrils, i have a nose that is running for england and i am to tissues what pigpen is to dust and dirt.
by the way i pronounce it tiss-you not tishew. blame my oldest friend's mother who together with her daughter decided to continue where apparantly my mother had left off or given up and teach me how to be a refined young lady at the age of 6. dont think it worked but atleast now i know that horses sweat, men perspire and ladies glow. (i think i may be developing a fever cos now in addition to snorting i am glowing something rotten)
i remember when i first got hayfever at the age of 9. it was so much more exotic than my runny nose that had basically lasted my entire (then) short lifetime. i had secret ambitions that i might become a world record holder after roy castle (z"l) played his trumpet really loudly on record breakers for this girl who couldnt stop sneezing. i never checked it with the judges but between 13 march 1981 and 13 march 1982 i sneezed 4334 times. ... now that's dedication.
over a decade of high addiction to triludan hayfever medication meant that i was of course delighted and tribulated to hear that for all intents and purposes my drug of choice had been discontinued in the uk although i'm not too sure whether it was for bona fide health reasons or the health of her majesty's health service's coffers. this and the desire to reconnect with nature and live in denial led me to going pretty much cold turkey. as the lord continues to bles the air of jerusalem it seems to have worked although occasionally an emergency cat situation gives the turkey a run for its money.
so thats basically it, although in case we ever meet up i must confess to being a heavy breather. and i cant promise to confine it to phone calls when you need excitement - it's a 24 hour thing. not too obvious otherwise i'd really be a recluse but just enough so that i'm quickly detected if i fall asleep in the cinema and can regale such embarassing situations as my first driving test. stopping at a traffic lights the tester asked me if i wanted to open the window. it was april in england (i.e. still freezing temperatures) so the answer was really no but as i'd just executed a very dodgy three point turn i didnt want to argue. i rolled down the window but could see he was still staring at me. after a while i realized what was going on and said "oh no, i always breathe like this" at which point the bastard told me to close the window and then went on to fail me on three different technicalities. what a bogeyman!
thats about it....... watch out for my next installment -- career asthma for beginners or an asthmatic with bronchitis' guide to amusing friends through hilarous impressions of their cars not starting.
my name's LG -- gezundheit!
posted by LG at 11:39 PM
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