miniature thinking
I am sensitive to the fact that my relationship with Israel -- my national homeland, my spiritual center, my residence of choice, my 4 slowly-closing-in walls -- is becoming more passive aggressive by the day. While in the bottle factory of life my label would be something like moderate left, religious Zionist, in reality I wonder that maybe my habit to bemoan the many ills of Israeli society while taking very little positive action has more to do with my toilet training than any real impetus. (I am sure by the way that i am not alone in this projection tendency but thats a topic for another rant.)
I mention this because this attitude seems to colour my every experience and it can get a bit heavy. Of course I am no position to really want to correct this angst seeing as it fuels much of my comedy routine and anyway (more) therapy is just another luxury that the average Israeli salary does not allow.
Which leads me in more ways than one, to my first visit to Mini-Israel last week with my parents. This is one of Israel’s newer tourist attractions which purports to show you the best sites in Israel all within 60 green dunams (60,000m2). My immediate question is whether Israel could get any smaller and if tourists could get any lazier but as sadly the answer to both questions is – yes, probably – let us move swiftly on.
Having never been taken to Disney land or World as a child (another matter of discussion with the therapist when the lottery pays up) the only international comparisons I can bring are British – Looking at Bekonscot (a highly detailed Model Village a fond favorite among generations of British children) and Miniland at LegoLand (famous sites of Europe built in Lego) I would say that Mini-Israel falls pleasantly somewhere between.
The park features a good array of familiar landmarks for those who have traveled Israel as well as few of those places that I swear I only knew existed growing up through that Israel card game where you have to collect sets of four – things like Capernaum, Dormition Abbey and Mann Auditorium. In addition to specific sites the park also includes a fair share of generic Israel such as trains and roads, houses under construction and a kibbutz. I especially liked the inclusion of those huge life size (in miniature obviously) three dimensional commercials that originated with the huge kinley cans on the way into Ben Gurion airport and now decorate the side of the Ayalon highway.
[I was once told in an interview for a job at some PR company that this concept is an Israeli “patent” which is now being marketed around the world. Well duh, this is hardly a modern Israeli innovation. What was the 12 spies biblical huge grape stunt if not a precursor to outsized Shoko bags, yoghurt pots and washing machines?]
In short the park is really more than pleasant and definitely an outing fit for all the family. Of course not everyone is privy to the personal guided tour that I was fortunate enough to have –“How Israel has or has not changed since my parents honey moon”. Don't worry your own knowledge, the hirable earphone commentary or the site’s guidebook will suffice for the rest of you.
While I recommend a visit I’d just like to take this opportunity to point out some omissions that I noticed and offer explanations where possible.
The Security Wall – It was bit unnerving to be “viewing Israel” as if there were no such thing as land controversies in our grand little country. In particular “the wall” as a new addition to the landscape was conspicuous by its absence.
Reason for omission The wall would have been far too expensive to build and the park would have been bankrupted were it included
Most of the Hebrew University site – Only the Law School is featured. Although this may seem to reflect the only important part of the university in the eyes of Jewish parents it did seem strangely alone.
Reason for omission Hebrew U’s award winning building was omitted for the same reason for its award – the builders were unable to find their way around
The Masorti Kotel – The only men and women found praying by the Kotel were in their own respective sections and Robinson’s arch was highlighted for archaeological reasons only with nay a "woman-at-the-wall" to be seen.
Reason for omission Nothing special apart from the normal inertia and non-pluralistic nature of Israeli society. Interesting note though, if you press a button by the side of the wall the figures begin to shockel (sway and pray). Apparently that’s how it works in real life too.
Terminal at Ben Gurion - The airport was represented by the runways, tarmac and planes only, with no terminal or duty free to be seen.
Reason for omission Mini-Israel was only opened in 2002 thus we cannot expect the terminal to be ready until at least 2006.
The Church of the Holy Sepulchre– Considering the abundance of Christian sites , the absence of this central landmark (and any reference to the Via Delorosa) is rather surprising
Reason for omission As the Church of the Annunciation in Nazareth was also missing it seems that the park owners were too wussy to deal with the complications of including Christian sites with contested ownership.
Yuppy housing on Kibbutz land –Time stands still on the kibbutz model with communal weddings and harvest festival celebrations holding their ground over privatized laundries and old kibbutz houses open for yuppy and student rentals.
Reason for omission The decision to offer a nostalgic view of the kibbutz came after owners feared that a true to life model of a kibbutz would be sold off to lucrative land developers within 2 years. Note: Some modern elements did creep in as the wedding featured seemed suspiciously not be of kibbutz members but of city dwellers at the kibbutz's gan iru'im (events hall)
My Office – Without revealing too much, my place of work is featured at Mini-Israel. On close examination however I discovered that my actual office was missing from the model.
Reason for omission I don't need to go to work anymore – instead I can spend my days following my real dreams, writing, creating, developing my comedy and plans for world peace and ….. hello hello hello WAKE UP LG!
I mention this because this attitude seems to colour my every experience and it can get a bit heavy. Of course I am no position to really want to correct this angst seeing as it fuels much of my comedy routine and anyway (more) therapy is just another luxury that the average Israeli salary does not allow.
Which leads me in more ways than one, to my first visit to Mini-Israel last week with my parents. This is one of Israel’s newer tourist attractions which purports to show you the best sites in Israel all within 60 green dunams (60,000m2). My immediate question is whether Israel could get any smaller and if tourists could get any lazier but as sadly the answer to both questions is – yes, probably – let us move swiftly on.
Having never been taken to Disney land or World as a child (another matter of discussion with the therapist when the lottery pays up) the only international comparisons I can bring are British – Looking at Bekonscot (a highly detailed Model Village a fond favorite among generations of British children) and Miniland at LegoLand (famous sites of Europe built in Lego) I would say that Mini-Israel falls pleasantly somewhere between.
The park features a good array of familiar landmarks for those who have traveled Israel as well as few of those places that I swear I only knew existed growing up through that Israel card game where you have to collect sets of four – things like Capernaum, Dormition Abbey and Mann Auditorium. In addition to specific sites the park also includes a fair share of generic Israel such as trains and roads, houses under construction and a kibbutz. I especially liked the inclusion of those huge life size (in miniature obviously) three dimensional commercials that originated with the huge kinley cans on the way into Ben Gurion airport and now decorate the side of the Ayalon highway.
[I was once told in an interview for a job at some PR company that this concept is an Israeli “patent” which is now being marketed around the world. Well duh, this is hardly a modern Israeli innovation. What was the 12 spies biblical huge grape stunt if not a precursor to outsized Shoko bags, yoghurt pots and washing machines?]
In short the park is really more than pleasant and definitely an outing fit for all the family. Of course not everyone is privy to the personal guided tour that I was fortunate enough to have –“How Israel has or has not changed since my parents honey moon”. Don't worry your own knowledge, the hirable earphone commentary or the site’s guidebook will suffice for the rest of you.
While I recommend a visit I’d just like to take this opportunity to point out some omissions that I noticed and offer explanations where possible.
The Security Wall – It was bit unnerving to be “viewing Israel” as if there were no such thing as land controversies in our grand little country. In particular “the wall” as a new addition to the landscape was conspicuous by its absence.
Reason for omission The wall would have been far too expensive to build and the park would have been bankrupted were it included
Most of the Hebrew University site – Only the Law School is featured. Although this may seem to reflect the only important part of the university in the eyes of Jewish parents it did seem strangely alone.
Reason for omission Hebrew U’s award winning building was omitted for the same reason for its award – the builders were unable to find their way around
The Masorti Kotel – The only men and women found praying by the Kotel were in their own respective sections and Robinson’s arch was highlighted for archaeological reasons only with nay a "woman-at-the-wall" to be seen.
Reason for omission Nothing special apart from the normal inertia and non-pluralistic nature of Israeli society. Interesting note though, if you press a button by the side of the wall the figures begin to shockel (sway and pray). Apparently that’s how it works in real life too.
Terminal at Ben Gurion - The airport was represented by the runways, tarmac and planes only, with no terminal or duty free to be seen.
Reason for omission Mini-Israel was only opened in 2002 thus we cannot expect the terminal to be ready until at least 2006.
The Church of the Holy Sepulchre– Considering the abundance of Christian sites , the absence of this central landmark (and any reference to the Via Delorosa) is rather surprising
Reason for omission As the Church of the Annunciation in Nazareth was also missing it seems that the park owners were too wussy to deal with the complications of including Christian sites with contested ownership.
Yuppy housing on Kibbutz land –Time stands still on the kibbutz model with communal weddings and harvest festival celebrations holding their ground over privatized laundries and old kibbutz houses open for yuppy and student rentals.
Reason for omission The decision to offer a nostalgic view of the kibbutz came after owners feared that a true to life model of a kibbutz would be sold off to lucrative land developers within 2 years. Note: Some modern elements did creep in as the wedding featured seemed suspiciously not be of kibbutz members but of city dwellers at the kibbutz's gan iru'im (events hall)
My Office – Without revealing too much, my place of work is featured at Mini-Israel. On close examination however I discovered that my actual office was missing from the model.
Reason for omission I don't need to go to work anymore – instead I can spend my days following my real dreams, writing, creating, developing my comedy and plans for world peace and ….. hello hello hello WAKE UP LG!
posted by LG at 8:44 PM
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