burning desires
and for today a story about self doubt.
what's your burning desire?
what things do you really care about?
wow deep questions, she thought. tachlis questions. finally someone who had stripped away all the bullshit - like what did you study at university, how many siblings do you have, were you into duran duran in the eighties? - and reached in to find out about HER.
he really wanted to know who she was, what made her tick, click - any sound, just what.
she was flattered, complimented, excited so much so she wanted to answer straight away, respond immediately, offer a waterfall of words, get closer through sharing this intimate knowledge.
but then she felt silence. words didnt come. what was her burning desire? oh come on now she must have something? what did she really care about? anything she thought of seemed trite, fake or just not entirely true. but how could she not have these? surely they must appear somewhere - on a resume somewhere or on a piece of paper scribbled down during traffic jam inspiration. she must have a raison d'etre. she wasnt just plodding through life, was she?
it didnt make sense. she'd spent the best part of the last decade trying to find herself, get in touch, relearn a healthy way to live. she felt better from it, no doubt. she was breaking the mould and going to lead life how she wanted. she'd achieved many personal victories and it was onwards and upwards. so how could she be floundering at this first pivotal test?
maybe she just wasnt there yet - hadnt tapped that far. or maybe she was living it already. or maybe ... going out on a bit of limb here... it was a combination.
she thought carefully and tried to word it succinctly. i have a burning desire to live life as i choose. a burning desure to be open to the opportunities that the universe has to offer and not be bulldozed down by self-doubt while waiting for clarity. or how about "a burning desire to live life without doubt". she was sure that some cliched email footer about dancing like theres no tomorrow said it more poetically but this worked for her.
would he understand? did it matter? did he really need for her to have clear cut answers? would he think any less of her?
at this moment in time she wasn't sure but as she read the sentence again she realized that as a first step to her newly stated goal she was willing to take the chance.
what's your burning desire?
what things do you really care about?
wow deep questions, she thought. tachlis questions. finally someone who had stripped away all the bullshit - like what did you study at university, how many siblings do you have, were you into duran duran in the eighties? - and reached in to find out about HER.
he really wanted to know who she was, what made her tick, click - any sound, just what.
she was flattered, complimented, excited so much so she wanted to answer straight away, respond immediately, offer a waterfall of words, get closer through sharing this intimate knowledge.
but then she felt silence. words didnt come. what was her burning desire? oh come on now she must have something? what did she really care about? anything she thought of seemed trite, fake or just not entirely true. but how could she not have these? surely they must appear somewhere - on a resume somewhere or on a piece of paper scribbled down during traffic jam inspiration. she must have a raison d'etre. she wasnt just plodding through life, was she?
it didnt make sense. she'd spent the best part of the last decade trying to find herself, get in touch, relearn a healthy way to live. she felt better from it, no doubt. she was breaking the mould and going to lead life how she wanted. she'd achieved many personal victories and it was onwards and upwards. so how could she be floundering at this first pivotal test?
maybe she just wasnt there yet - hadnt tapped that far. or maybe she was living it already. or maybe ... going out on a bit of limb here... it was a combination.
she thought carefully and tried to word it succinctly. i have a burning desire to live life as i choose. a burning desure to be open to the opportunities that the universe has to offer and not be bulldozed down by self-doubt while waiting for clarity. or how about "a burning desire to live life without doubt". she was sure that some cliched email footer about dancing like theres no tomorrow said it more poetically but this worked for her.
would he understand? did it matter? did he really need for her to have clear cut answers? would he think any less of her?
at this moment in time she wasn't sure but as she read the sentence again she realized that as a first step to her newly stated goal she was willing to take the chance.
posted by LG at 7:21 AM
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