who nose

i think i'm going to let my nose ring hole close up.

its not that i dont like it.
i love it.
its just i think the universe is telling me something and i feel healthily obliged to pay due attention.

i have admired my nose ring and enjoyed it being admired many a time since its world debut nearly five years ago.

indeed my decision to have a nose ring in the first place is possibly my favorite decision ever. (bar marrying A, of course but there's a point to be made here which discounts standard lifechanging decisions)

it came at a time when i was going through one of those life phases that was earth shattering for me, if perhaps slightly unnoticeable to the untuned human eyes around me. i was learning how to make adult choices. finally working out which factors and opinions were really worthy of consideration and which were just confusing background noise to be ignored (however hard that can be).

i remember the process. it was the first time that i was able to go from the stage of recognizing that this was something i'd like to do, to the stage of practical considerations -- such as is it expensive, dangerous, reversible -- without getting caught up in the nine times out of ten superfluous 'what will the neighbors think' stage.

it was truly liberating
and i was happy to have a constant reminder of this conscious healthy decision less than two inches away from my eyes, all the time!

as far as i was concerned the rest of the world could read into it what they wanted
... and they did.

-- i was both turned down because of, and accepted despite of , my nose ring, for at least two jobs.

-- i found that i could finally wear long skirts without people asking me if i'd suddenly 'frummed out'.

-- i was able to blend in with the 'young crowd' when traveling across new zealand and australia, even at the ancient age of 29.

-- i felt a distinct change in people's attitudes towards me. over night i was considered someone who was a little bit out there and for whom you could make no assumptions about. sometimes people seemed visibly riled -- why had i confused a good set of assumptions and thrown a spanner in the works of their standard place-people- in-boxes-for-safety routine.

-- i was allowed to consider myself as someone who was a little bit out there and for whom you could make no assumptions about. my standard place-people- in-boxes-for-safety routine was rocked at its very core.

-- not a few (often religious, sometimes married) men felt obliged to tell me about how they secretly found it sexy. they asked me if i could convince their wives to get one too... and whether i had piercings in any other places.

-- i became a new object of interest and wonder to those looking to expand their horizons. a married contemporary at a bet shemesh brit pointed out how fascinated her daughter was by the lady with the silver in her nose. i got the distinct impression that she felt that i had helped give her offspring a broader education by exposing them to the 'wider world out there'.

-- i developed standard answers to the questions like, how do you blow your nose; does it hurt when you sneeze? (the same, actually it makes picking it more fun; not as much as the other piercings)

-- i couldn't help but notice the not insignifcant number of girlfriends and other acquaintances who subsequently took the plunge (or the needle) and i felt duly complimented.

so as you can see -- it was fun.

technically speaking, it was quite easy to maintain but it was more squeamishness than ideology that kept my nose ring constantly in my nose for over two years.

it was only when i played a victorian lady of leisure in a superb mamet masterpiece that my nose ring came more detachable. the change came when my equally superb and dedicated director insisted that i learn to take it out for performances in order to maintain authenticity.

but although i now had the new pastime of playing with said nose ring in boring meetings (inconspicuously of course) it still stayed with me for another year and a half with no major event.

until i got engaged.......

an unrelated event one would think.
(especially as A had always been supportive if a bit ambivalent about it. )

but here's the thing.
two days after the proposal, having just enjoyed a dip in the mediteranean i discover that my nose ring has fallen out! yes fallen out -- for the first time in over four years (a time period which trust me had had its fair share of swimming and cavorting)

fairs fair, i replace it
but this was just the beginning of my travails so it seemed.
to cut a long story short, since june 2005 i have gone through at least six nose rings as they continue to fall out in wet and dry situations alike.

Note this includes a nose ring chosen especially for the wedding (see right), which was even handed to a friend with the rest of my jewellery for segula luck before the chupa!

most bizarre indeed.

unaccustomed as i am to replacing the ring, this has become a true pain in the nose.
(often literally as if i dont always get round to buying one immediately the first wearing can involve a form of minor surgery!)

which brings me back to my latest healthy decision.

having failed to buy a new nose ring for nearly a month and being forced to use an earring every week or so to ensure that hole is still intact (last attempt clearly failing) i've decided to give up the fight.

i'm giving up the fight and surrendering to the forces of the universe orwhoever is behind this change in energies.

and thats ok.

because as i've learned , having a nose ring is not expensive or dangerous and its clearly reversible. so if i really want, i can have my nose pierced again. simple as that.

and furthermore... all that other stuff i learned about myself is still true.
i dont need to prove anything (now or ever really) to anyone.

lord 'nose', thats the most important part of it all.